24 Reasons For Not Going To Heaven

24 Reasons For Not Going To Heaven

Featured in the February, 2006 Issue of the Ashburn Baptist News

Since most people choose not to go to heaven (Matthew 7:13,14) they must have some very good reasons. We have collected some and here they are!

  1. I had enough religion when I was a kid.
  2. I would go but I have other plans.
  3. The songs are too formal. I don’t go for all that “Holy, Holy, Holy” stuff (Revelation 4:8).
  4. There is no football and I can’t live without it.
  5. Since I hold to evolution, what I would hear in heaven would be offensive to my beliefs (Revelation  4:11).
  6. Heaven is already prepared (John 14:2) and “I like it my way”.
  7. There is no beer!
  8. I’m not sure I’ll know anyone there.
  9. Those 24 male elders (Revelation 4:4) seem to be very important and I think that is sexist.
  10. I like being sick because it gets me much attention (Revelation  21:4).
  11. All my wealth is on earth and I don’t want to leave it (Matthew 6:19-21).
  12. I don’t know what I would do because there’s not any TV.
  13. There is Someone on a throne (Revelation  4:2) and I think we should all be equal.
  14. None of my friends will be there (Revelation  21:8,27; 22:15).
  15. They’re going to sing “a new song” (Revelation  5:9) and I don’t like contemporary music.
  16. There is no sex! (Matthew 22:30).
  17. The music is too loud (Revelation  5:12; 7:10; 11:15; 12:10; 19:1).
  18. I am a feminist and I am not going unless they name one-half of the twelve gates (Revelation  21:12) after women.
  19. No practicing sodomites are admitted (I Corinthians 6:9,10) and I’m against discrimination.
  20. There are no elections and I believe in democracy (Revelation  11:15; 19:6).
  21. Since I prefer sloppy sweatshirts and faded jeans, I don’t agree with the dress code (Revelation  7:9).
  22. The worship just takes too much time (Revelation  5:13).
  23. I don’t believe in Heaven or Hell but I would like to spend eternity in Hawaii.
  24. Because no one is admitted unless he repents of sin and personally receives Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior (John 14:6; Acts 4:12), I think that’s being too narrow-minded.

The second installment of this article will appear when more reasons are collected.